Welcome.
Are you feeling stuck in your life and relationships? You are not alone.
You have worked so hard to get to where you are today, and yet you’re still struggling with the same old patterns that make you wonder if you’ll ever be good enough or feel fulfilled. You were supposed to be happy once you checked all the boxes, but you still feel anxious, depressed, irritable, or overwhelmed.
If this resonates with you, then you may be living in cycles of complex trauma, passed down from one generation to the next. Complex trauma can look like:
Being your own harshest critic and feeling like you’re never good enough.
Feeling burned out, but pushing yourself to keep going past your limits.
Struggling with constant stress and overwhelm.
Not understanding or trusting your feelings and needs.
Putting others’ needs before your own and feeling drained or resentful.
Feeling stuck in cycles of conflict in your relationships.
Feeling unsupported and misunderstood by your family, yet also feeling guilty.
You can break the cycle of complex, intergenerational trauma.
I invite you to look deeper to find the root causes of your struggles, often in how you were raised as a child of immigrant parents. You inherited so much strength and perseverance, but also came from struggles that left deep wounds.
Perfectionism
You learned early on to do what was “right” and suppress your own needs and interests. But, no matter how hard you worked or how much you achieved, it was never quite good enough. You worked hard to make your family proud, but they always focused on how you could do better. Now, you are your own biggest critic and even the smallest mistakes feel catastrophic. You feel like an imposter and struggle with low self-worth.
Burnout
You grew up listening to your parents and elders talk about the importance of hard work. You feel that you have to honor their sacrifice, even if it means letting go of your own interests. Such intense focus on achievement has helped you succeed, but comes at the cost of taking care of yourself. As a result, you feel burned out but push yourself to keep working more, keep working harder - and yet it never feels like enough.
Guilt
As immigrants, your family worked so hard not just to make ends meet, but to navigate a totally new language and culture. Witnessing their struggles gave you immense motivation to succeed and honor their sacrifices, but also a lingering feeling of guilt. You question whether you deserve the good things in your life. Even if you felt unseen or misunderstood by your family, guilt keeps you from having difficult conversations with them.
Disconnection
There was no space for big emotions - especially difficult ones - in your family. You learned to control or hide your feelings when you felt frustrated, angry, sad, or overwhelmed. You believe you “should” feel a certain way and can’t understand or trust your true emotions. Over time, you’ve become disconnected from your deepest needs, and wonder why you always feel disappointed or unseen in relationships.
Caretaking
Helping your parents with big responsibilities at a young age can feel overwhelming. And when your parents couldn’t manage their own difficult emotions, you became their emotional outlet or caretaker. Growing up with a lack of boundaries led you to prioritize others’ needs over your own. Now, you feel like you’re always doing more than your share or taking care of other people’s emotions, leaving you feeling drained and resentful.
Conflict
You never had a model for open, healthy communication. Whether it was intense fighting or sweeping things under the rug, your family struggled to have difficult conversations. You learned to always be alert for signs of conflict (hypervigilance), to withdraw, or to fight back - but conflicts were never truly resolved. You desperately want to stop these cycles from happening in your current relationships, but don’t know where to start.
Break the cycle. Heal complex trauma. Thrive.
These patterns come from generations of complex trauma. They were the only models we’ve ever had from our parents, and our parents from their parents. They were the best options available to us, our parents, and our ancestors in dealing with overwhelming, difficult situations in the past, but are no longer serving us.
We also come from generations of resilience, and our capacity to heal is innate. Let’s bring awareness, compassion, and change to these patterns. You can build healthier, balanced relationships with yourself, your loved ones, and your work. You can thrive - inside and out.
Offerings
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Individual therapy
You can be free from the negative patterns that keep you from living fully, authentically, joyfully. You may be feeling stuck or overwhelmed by recent challenges or past struggles. You may be trying to make sense of your feelings, or may already know that they're a result of complex trauma. Wherever you are in your journey, I can provide you with the support and tools to stay present while addressing the root causes of your struggles. In individual therapy, we will
- Bring awareness to and heal the past experiences that created negative patterns
- Create resources and practices that provide you with a foundation for change
- Rebalance your approach to achievement so that you feel energized
- Release negative beliefs about yourself and develop genuine self-compassion and self-worth
- Empower you to build a life that feels balanced, meaningful and thriving
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Couples therapy
Instead of the loving relationship you long for, you feel frustrated, alone, and increasingly hopeless. Underneath the surface, you may both be struggling with complex trauma that shows up as persistent cycles of conflict and disconnection. I can support you to uncover the root causes of these negative cycles, and repair and nurture your relationship so that you both feel supported, seen, and connected. In couples therapy, we will
- Identify negative cycles that cause miscommunication and conflict
- Develop tools that help you de-escalate and reduce further conflicts
- Recognize and express your deeper feelings and needs, and listen to and accept those of your partner
- Practice new ways of communicating that enable you to find new solutions to old conflicts
- Rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy so that you can move forward together
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Family therapy
You feel drained by family relationships that continue to repeat the negative patterns that you've struggled with your whole life. It seems like your family will never understand you, support your decisions, celebrate your achievements, or accept you as you are. You wonder if you will ever heal from experiences that are too difficult to talk about. I can support you and provide a space for your family to have difficult, honest conversations. In family therapy, we will
- Create a space for you and your family members to listen and talk openly and honestly with each other
- Bring awareness to the root causes of negative patterns
- Reflect on painful experiences and make genuine repairs to your relationships
- Practice new ways of communicating that enable understanding and acceptance
- Establish healthy boundaries that bring more ease to your family dynamics